Staying Connected

It is said that " The Stronger my relation with my Critical Relations would be, the stronger I will be" Everyone knows and understands that..agrees but doesn't believe. In my opinion your beliefs reflect in your personality. If you really believe in something it is clearly visible in your personality, a dominant part that seldom changes.

We stay connected to those who normally stay connected with us, but prefer to stay connected with those whom we consider necessary. In this preference we lose connection and also our importance in the eyes of those whom we considered less important, in our preference list and then sometimes, we realise what we missed in this process and regret it all our lives.

Staying connected is always a two way process actually, the preference we give to one relationships is reciprocated and bounced back to us. We do not understand that staying connected is absolutely necessary for us not for the others only. We start feeling like someone special, like a celebrity and pretend like one, giving an impression that connecting with me, is more important for others not me.

Actually it works the other way around. Why only others should always be trying to stay connected to me? It might look like that they need me more than I need them. But this is only a temporary situation. Humans tend to adopt quickly and learn how to live without something that is not available or less available and they soon find alternatives because there is nothing called indispensable in this world. But we even pretend to ourselves that everything would still be the same when I return as i left it.

We always think it is not my duty to stay connected, and we lose a lot silently. Then sooner or later we realise that the loss which doesn't seem to be noticeable during the time of feeling like a celebrity is not recoverable now.

We all agree that staying connected and supportive is beneficial. For this we join parties, social forums and networks, buy expensive devices,  just to stay connected with those we don't know and forget those we already know. We are on our phones, PC's or in front of a TV while our critical relations are sitting around us, waiting for us to pay attention. But we are busy texting, talking to someone far away or using social networks and sharing information to get to know someone new and never realising that happiness is not having what you want, its actually wanting what you already have.

Don't you think there is a need to re prioritise our connections? We love to have a large connection list on social networks but we hardly even communicate with most of these contacts. Even God says to the humans that He remembers those who remember him. Remembering means staying connected, why do we try to stay disconnected in this world from our creator when we know its the most powerful unbreakable connection even when we keep ignoring it by never communicating when the easiest of all communications is the communication with God.

How do we expect not to be ignored by Him when we keep on ignoring  Him? And still try to figure out reasons of all those problems we face in our lives that exist just because we are being ignored by our Lord.

Love and Wisdom

Love and wisdom go together. They are normally taken as two opposites. They say wisdom has nothing to do in love. Matters of heart do not need wisdom. One the other hand it is said that decisions made with wisdom are right decisions.

You could either be a lover or wise. But I don't think so. If love means sentiments, feelings, desires passion, enthusiasm dedication selflessness and fearlessness then wisdom means analysis, testing, comparing learning and experiencing exposure as well as enlightenment and awareness.

Love creates beauty, happiness contentment delicacy sweetness in life, can change lives makes you feel alive. Wisdom creates comforts of life, provides security ensures it and decreases distances.

But why do we see people die in love? people cry in love, their lives become a constant pain in love. People destroy in love people fight for love and people also fight in love. This powerful source of life that sometimes called life it self becomes completely opposite.

Wisdom also does the same, it kills, it creates bomb ammunition disease makes life miserable and painful. Whats that? Why these two sources these two most powerful abilities of humans become destructiveness instead of constructive?

Because without blending these two, we can never make them constructive, positive and useful. We create cure for cancer with nuclear technology by blending love into wisdom. Likewise if we use wisdom in judging our relationships we make them long lasting and more beautiful. Only love, without wisdom can spoil a child as well as any other relations.

It is said that love at first sight is great, but its better to have another closer look as well..:). Here is where we blend wisdom.

Never forget to blend these two in life and save the world from lots of miseries. The good combination of  love and wisdom always brings the right results and only the good things come out sooner or later.

Loving wisely is great try it...:) And so is inventing, constructing building and doing business with love

Be Concerned

To be concerned is one of the most powerful source of healing.  Telling your child you really think about him or her and worry for them. You love and you are interested in everything he or she is interested in. Giving them the feeling of being always there when they need you, encouraging them supporting them and telling them never be afraid of making mistakes and blunders because you are there to fix them. But do we really bother ourselves with all that ever?

If you can ever fix anything, it is fixing mistakes blunders or at least covering them up for your kids and relations that matter. The responsibility does not mean being over reactive and pressurizing so much that the personality starts to distort.

The effect of mistreatment and negligence or using bad words and hurting language are extremely severe. In Solomon Islands, a sovereign state in Oceania, near Papua new Guinea,  when they needed to clear out the jungle for some reason the would not cut a tree. They would just gather around it and say every bad word and use abusive language to that tree and the tree would start drying out and die in a few days.

Experiments have proved that even the indoor plants react to the atmosphere around them and their growth is effected due the surrounding they are in.

Humans ..even if they pretend to be really strong hearted or stone hearted, have the need to see care and concern. We just need to offer small tokens of care. Saying happy birthday, and expressing the happiness you feel for someone being in the world with you means so much to these homo sapiens. Just tell them you care you worry and you are concerned and see what happens. Kind words cost nothing buy everything. It is so powerful that no medicine in the world would effect like that.

Saying I am with you, don't worry I will take care of that. I am on your side no matter what happens are the magical words that can even create miracles.

But these miracles are only created when these words come out of your heart with purity and sincerity. It can not be manufactured or exhibited when its not really there. When we praise beauty or intelligence or congratulate someone on success or offer sympathy or condolences only the purity reaches all the way down to the heart.

All we need to do is to be pure and natural. If we don't want, we don't have to do that half heatedly or with no heart.

The Good Guy

I have a simple way for judging people. Its so simple and easy and unnoticed sometimes that I my self get carried away into it.

Simply invite them to do something bad. Something wicked and really naughty. You will notice that there are some who instantly agree with a big smile on their faces. These are the habitual one's in search of more companions to commit something real bad. They enjoy sin, and they have been doing that a lot very efficiently that no hardly ever noticed.

Then you will find the one's who smile at you on your invitation or in decent proposal and say "I did'nt know you were this bad". and they show you a bit a resistance may be more than you were expecting but finally the join. These are the hypocritical one's.  They look like they are against naughty bad things they talk to others in a very negative tone about bad ideas and tell them ho bitterly against they are.

The third type are the plain refusal. The refuse all the bad ideas just like that and walk away leaving you flushed and humiliated and you are just impressed and sure of their daring faith in good. You even tell your self that world still exists due to these type of good personalities and you turn your back to get out of their sight not being able to face them and suddenly you feel a firm grip around your arm and a strong voice of the same person asking you when how and where do you want it.:) They just need to see the quality of your invitation to accept or refuse. They have been in this long enough to only for quality stuff.

So all I need to say is that in this bunch the only good guy is the one who didn't get a chance yet. You might have just never noticed anything wrong in some people and you might be wondering what could possibly be wrong or go wrong but you are mistaken. Just because you never expected and never noticed. Just need to keep an eye and an expectation and the real side would come out.

The most difficult things to do in the world are Saying no or refuseing, and Quitting.

Saying no to an offer when you dont feel like it, saying no to something that hurts…saying no to what is against your principles or terms.

And quitting or cutting out on whats dear and near to you and gone rotten..:) Quitting a Habit or addiction. Quitting self created norms …. looking out of the boundaries and stretching them ..:)

So you don't need to worry. No one will ever say no to your invitation to a sin.

What do we need?

I heard that when Alexander returned to see his Mentor his Teacher, Aristotle after conquering the world, almost, he asked his educator, who was sitting on the edge of a rock near the sea indulged in his thoughts, " O Great Teacher I have conquered almost all the world and my wish is to do some thing for you. The Great Philosopher said after along pause, "Just get aside lad you are blocking sunlight for me". This is all what he wanted from his pupil.

The greatest most essential and precious things in our life are for free. Things like Air, Water Sunlight and Relations like brothers sisters mom dad are free, and we still have the greed to wear the best , eat the best drive the best and so on.

Just think of someone really special in your life for once then tell me something. Is that person special due to the looks? or Power? or Money? Fame? or because this person drives the best car? or owns a beautiful luxuries house?

Does any of those thing make this person special for you? I know what really makes someone special and you would agree that there are priceless things that matter, things that you get for free things like Care, loyalty dedication intelligence manners and love.

But we run after fame after money and power while we know we don't really become special in anybody's eyes with all these things around us.

These things, the temporary things are just to impress for the time being. Or I should say just the worldly entrapment. But when you really get exposed nothing else matters if you don't have the price less free attributes.

We live in a Matrix created by God. I apologies to those who have not been able to see the famous Movie that clears up the concept of a Matrix.

We think we are real and everything around us is real. But actually the only things real, that would accompany us to reality, are those fine attributes that make us a human. Human's that have been awarded to be the best of creatures by their Creator himself.

Just once stand in front of the mirror in the morning and look at your self asking, why am I the best of all creatures? Why my creator has so much trust in me, as a human, that he declares me the best of all creatures. What is it that I don't see or may be my creator has over expected from me? (which I believe is impossible). Then why? what do I really need?

Why do we run after all those artificial impermanent things and do not realize what we really need. Whom are we trying to pamper? and for how long? In every human's life there comes a time when he actually realizes whats real and whats his real reason of being here in the world. Its only a matter of time, some realize early some realize when its time to leave. But everyone does.

I wonder how busy we are that we don't even have time for family, faith, country and nation. I wish we can also ask death to come back later cause we are too busy to die.

The Stupid Machine

Its been said that a Book is a best friend. I think my best buddy is my PC. The reason is not just the technology update or access to the the world is more than just a book. The reason is the feeling of control, not just the feeling of complete honesty and the feeling of error free environment is so wonderful with PC in your possession. The same feeling is with all those gadgets and machines that are called stupid as the don't know a lots of things that humans do.

I get so much carried away with these feelings that I start wondering how wonderful life would be if we could ever have the same control and liberty over everything just the way on a Computer.

Imagine being able to Undo things in life, a regret free life. Imagine being able to redo things and do everything you love again again and again.

How wonderful life would be if we could cut paste and even copy paste things form other people's life.   Take away what you want and duplicate or copy anything you want whenever you want WOW.

Another amazing feature in our life would be when we could delete anything form our lives. Delete your unwanted memories, delete your unwanted things and the most lovelies of all delete your unwanted people.

Editing and updating would have a whole new meaning. But the best of all and my favorite one's are the Escape button and Restart.

WOW just let yourself loose in the feeling of being able to escape form every situation and then if you are not happy just restart your life.

Imagine being able to escape a yelling wife. Imagine being able to escape your lousy boss. The feeling of being trapped in a bunch of idiots where you have to pose like a very considerate passionate and attentive personality and unable to pass time and you look at your watch, carefully avoiding other people's eyes so that they cant notice you are getting pissed of and extremely bored with the situation. Then suddenly you realize you have an escape button and you press that..

Imagine when you are really stressed or entangled in your thoughts thinking about some thing really important and then your wife or girl friend comes over and looks at you and asks whats are you thinking about and you say " Nothing" as you don't have anything that she can solve for you and you don't want to burden her tiny mind with it and her face frowns and she says " what is it that you don't want to tell me?. You would try to find a million excuses and even let her know what you were actually thinking about. But she is absolutely sure there is another Girl. What do you feel at that time? How about a restart button?:) May be an UNDO button would also work at this time but REDO button is definitely out of question.

Here I do not mean that only men need a restart button. Girls do need an escape may be a lot more than men in many cases. Escape from staring eyes, escape from those pinching words that they hear moving around in their routine life. Not only that, they also need the restart button when they have a mother in law in to ruin their lives. Even a good for nothing husband that keeps on boasting and talking, always imposing and forcing himself over them only because by freak of nature he happens to be a husband.

So guys we all need this Stupid Machine Called a Computer with all its controls working on our lives.

They say Happiness is not in having what you want. Its wanting what you have. But I say happiness is when you have all the control on your keyboard working on your life.

Your Girl, Your Mom

Pointing out faults and having objections is the easiest thing what every human can do. We love doing that, whenever we find good time to do that and most of us often do find time. We do that specially in  absence of the person we are pointing out and we suggest a lot that we are unable to execute ourselves.

The only person we like the most to point out faults is the most closest one and the one we don't fear any resistance or we don't care about resistance. We remain careful not to point out faults of those superior than us and even if we do, we refer to rule one of pointing out faults i.e. " Makes sure he or she is not present and aware".

But the Girl in love is not the one you think she is. Once so fond of the boy she in love with that they don't even want to listen anything against this boy. But this is only before before marriage.

After the marriage, every fault in the same boy starts to emerge out of no where. The way he talks, the way he walks, selection of his clothes and the way wears his clothes, the way he even eats or sleeps has a fault hidden inside and it reveals suddenly after settling down or getting close enough where there is almost zero present chance of return.

The girl suddenly becomes his mom, always advising upon the way he works and the timings, the way he meets other people and talks to them, specially other girls and ladies in his social or business circle even family circle. She cares like a mom, keeps a close eye on his moves. The dress he wears before leaving the house. The perfume he wears, the time he takes to reach his office and then back home and specially she is very careful about the company he keeps. Just like a responsible mommy.

She stays restless, she stays hungry she always worries why he wont take my calls, why he is getting late than the usual time, why he wears that and why he changed perfume or the password of his machine or phone or e-mail or why he always has to go out at a certain time.

This is just a display of care, sincerity loyalty and dedication and of course love. She has to see if the boy is mislead by his mom, his sister and specially by female colleague or an old classmate or a relative even her own sisters, brothers or a mutual friend.

So boys be very very thankful obedient and satisfied. You have one more mother to take care of you. Just sit back and relax she will take care of your upbringing along with your money. Your beautiful dream girl has taken up the responsibilities for  you. You are now always free to build a future, create new ideas and strive for new frontiers of success. With a free mind from all these responsibilities that she has taken over for you. No one would mislead you and you would not need any consultancy and advice or encouragement or shelter better than that.

Its true that there is always a woman behind a successful man. Because no woman is after a looser.

Don't try to fix me , I am not broken

My elder niece once used this phrase on her share status bar on one of her chat messengers. I loved it that’s why I still have it in mind. 

I wonder why we always try to fix things our way, wherever we have control or where we have the least resistance expected. We keep on hammering our ways and thoughts onto others, specially on the children. We forget that we do not own them they are not our property. Being responsible does not mean that the guards and the watchmen have the right to fix the building and the property they are protecting, according to their own easy way.

Every person is born with a unique personality. Just like every nation has its own geographical, cultural and moral values and circumstances. Imposition of certain values laws and ethics might not be applicable everywhere. Especially when there is huge cultural and geographical difference.  I wonder if the areas of the world under the colonial rule, direct or indirect, had such worst living conditions, as being projected and shown, what made these direct or indirect rulers/invaders/intruders stay there for centuries? fixing? for so long? How many more centuries are they going to try that?

Power to change things according to your own choice is great, but so is the courage to accept things you can not change. The best thing that can happen to some one is the ability to understand the difference. Difference that makes him or her understand that this is what I can change, and this is what I cannot or should not change.

I heard that where ever a fire breaks out, the impact of pollution and heat spreads all over world in few hours. It means that no matter how small the fire is the whole world is going to share the consequences. We think that those little bad things we do secretly will not create an impact?

Before we start a destruction, a fire or imposition of our ways onto others we must think about the impact it is gong to create. Because sooner or later it is going to spread around and we are will face the consequences in some way for sure. This is nature's way to give back, Just like when we smoke we pollute environment and the nature, in return we get a disease. At least I believe that.

But here you might say, parents always have good intentions for their children. Maybe, but the bear that was a very good friend of the man also had good intentions to get rid of the fly sitting on his friend's nose and he threw a huge rock on the man's nose to kill that fly actually that was not letting him take a nap peacefully. (Bear and the Gardner)

I heard that a  kangaroo in its love for its child, hugs the child so tight that sometimes it breaks his back bone.

We can not make a tree grow faster than the natural process and have same good results. If we use unnatural ways we always get unnatural results. There is a thin line between intruding/interrupting and helping your kid grow into a great human being.

Humans are very short of patience. We want our kids to grow up into a mature, reasonable intelligent and successful person quickly, but you know patience is the only difference between a grown up and a child. And who is the child here?

In the end I would like to ask everyone trying to fix something, weather a child or a country. Please don't try to fix us, we are not broken....

"If you wana make the world a better place....Take a look at yourself and make the change."

Throwing Out

A thought came into my mind a few days back when I was at the dentist. I had the most terrible pain in my tooth last night that kept me awake through out the night, almost.

It is said that the only treatment for toothache is to remove the tooth. That's what the Doctor advised me to do. This is what everyone else says in this case.

Does this mean every painful thing in your life is liable to be thrown out or plucked out if you wish to have serenity in your life?

Yeah, I think its a good Idea to be bold and courageous enough to take a step like that. 

But what about those aching relations? almost everyone of us keeps on living with those aching relations for years and years never even thinking about throwing them out of their lives giving excuses to themselves and others for keeping them intact.

My tooth has been with me longer than many other things and relations I am keeping from a few years.  These relations are a lot painful than just one night of this terrible pain and agony I faced dues to this infectious tooth.

You know the irony here is, that I got rid of this terrible pain with the medicine advised by the dentist, but there is no cure invented for the aching relations. I wish we can cure this pain too with a magic pill.

The fact is, that in my kind of lifestyle, I am unable to throw away even the most useless looking belongings in my life.

I keep my old torn clothes, shoes, pens, broken fixtures of my house even a worthless piece of paper for years unable to get rid of them. I once had to sell the motorcycle, that I bought a few years back and kept it like something related to me like a living being a human, just  like everything else I keep that's related to me and when I sold my motorcycle,  I was unable to sleep for many nights to come.  I still feel the pang for separating from my motorcycle. Its funny, but I do feel that way.

Then how can I get separated from my tooth, that's been a part of me from years and years? I can not do that,  its not possible in my kind of lifestyle.

When I am keeping many unbearable painful things and people in my life and still giving myself excuses for keeping them,  why cant I keep something that has been a part myself?