When was that last time?

Brain scientist Lara Boyd once remarked that the human brain changes its shape each time we learn something, and our learning abilities are unique to each individual. This uniqueness explains why some people excel at solving mathematical problems while others are great at sports. This unique learning ability cannot be acquired through medicine, practice, or even guidance and coaching.

You cannot fundamentally change your learning tendencies, and neither can your child. It’s essential to understand and identify what you or your child are naturally good at, which is primarily influenced by genetics but not entirely. Once you discover these strengths, you can help your child focus on learning in ways that align with their natural abilities.

Another interesting concept that can make life easier and happier is the understanding that "stress is bad for you, but only if you believe it is." Health psychologist Kelly McGonigal wrote a book on this topic, explaining how our thought patterns directly affect our bodies. In an experiment with a friend's 12-year-old son, who was being bullied at school, she asked him to spin around quickly and climb up and down stairs. When asked how he felt, he said it was funny, his heart was pounding, and he felt thrilled and excited. She then asked him to consider how he would feel if the same physical reactions occurred when bullies were chasing and taunting him at school. The feelings would be entirely different. This illustrates how our perceptions and beliefs shape our experiences.

Our thought patterns significantly influence our experience of stress. Brain scientists estimate that we have about 70,000 thoughts each day, but only 5% of them are new. This means that most of our thoughts are repetitive, and if many of them are negative, they can have a profound impact on our well-being.

Consider the power of placebos—those inert tablets like sugar pills that often work wonders for patients, even alleviating disease symptoms, simply because the patients believe they will. This is a testament to the power of positive thinking. Conversely, negative thoughts can prevent real medicine and treatment from being effective.

Think about the influence our thoughts have over us. With 70,000 thoughts each day and 95% of them being repetitive, how many of these are negative? These negative thoughts often tell us, "That's good for them but not for me," or "They can do that, but I can't." Our thoughts lead us to judge things and people in split seconds, shaping our decisions and outcomes.

Have you ever stopped to consider what you’re thinking about right now? Do you check whether your thoughts are negative or positive? Often, we mistake our negative thoughts for realistic or straightforward ones, thinking they are grounded in reality, but this is not the case.

To improve our lives, we need to be mindful of our thoughts. Recognizing and challenging our negative thought patterns is crucial. By fostering more positive thinking, we can significantly enhance our overall well-being and ability to navigate life's challenges.

Everyone has experienced challenging times in life—moments that leave you feeling scarred, helpless, and angry. If you focus solely on your fears and despair, you'll find it difficult to move forward. When Nelson Mandela was asked how he survived 27 years in jail, he famously replied, "I didn’t survive; I prepared." This powerful mindset shift from mere survival to active preparation made all the difference for him.

To overcome negative thoughts of fear, despair, and anger, it's crucial to redirect your focus towards positive thoughts that provide the energy to fight back and succeed. The words you focus on truly matter. If you fixate on the word "survive," it can feel like a never-ending struggle. However, if you focus on the word "prepare," it brings a sense of calm and readiness.

Another effective strategy to regain control in stressful situations is to change your physiology. When your nerves are tense, your heart is pounding, and you feel on the brink of losing control, try this: take deeper breaths, move your arms, sit up straight, or divert your thoughts by switching on the TV, radio, or some music. This can help stop negative thoughts from invading your mind and taking control. Remember, you are in control of yourself, not your circumstances.

Focusing on positive thoughts is key, and to do so, you need to explore new ways to enhance your abilities. Concentrate on what you can learn and seek guidance from those who have mastered the skills you aspire to develop. Stop allowing 95% of your thoughts to be repetitive; replace them with new, constructive ones.

Ask yourself: When was the last time you did something for the first time? Embrace new experiences and keep your mind engaged with fresh, positive thoughts.