Did they made a monster out of you, because you said NO to their drama? Then you are victim of 'Gaslighting'

Have you heard the term Gaslighting?  A deeply disturbing emotional abuse that tears a family apart.

It is a form of a psychological abuse involving of manipulation of situations of events that cause a person to be confused or to doubt his perceptions or memories. Gaslighiting causes victims to to constantly second- guess themselves and wonder if they are loosing their minds or they are wrong about everything. 

Gaslighting is an undercover form of Emotional Abuse.  Well, let's use an example to explain to  what it is.

You’ve probably found yourself in a situation where someone assures you that you said something. Yet, you don’t remember having said it.


You dig through your memory and reach the conclusion that you definitely did not say it. You’re convinced that you’re right about this.

However, this person affirms that you said it. And he does it with so much confidence that you end up giving in. You end up thinking that maybe you did say it, even if you don’t remember doing so. You may have become another victim of gaslighting. When a toxic persons like that can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you.

Gaslighting is defined as repetitive manipulation one person exerts upon another person. Its primary objective is to undermine the confidence of the victim, so this person perceives reality in a distorted way. Failing that or being unable to do that they make a monster out you in front of others.


This is not new this phenomenon was first detected in the 1960’s and it  is frequently happens in workplaces and family. Gaslighting is a deliberate way of lying, aiming to confuse the victim or destroy others trust over him, in order to get something out of it. It’s a form of psychological abuse, but very subtle. Violence rarely comes into play when it comes to gaslighting, though there is usually some degree of intimidation involved.

Therefore, it’s difficult to detect. Additionally, the manipulator is usually someone “worthy of trust”, kind and someone you are close to. 

So, when toxic person or sometimes people around you, like that, can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth just like you did.

If they made a monster out of you because you walked away from their drama, so be it. Let them deal with what they have created. Be at peace with yourself, and stay out of conflict. You are allowed to terminate your relationships with TOXIC family members. You are allowed to walk away form people who hurt you. You are allowed to be angry, selfish and unforgiving. You don't owe an explanation to anyone for being selfish.

You may make the mistake of thinking it’s funny. Or that you would never fall into such a ridiculous form of manipulation. 

However, most people ignore the fact that this situation does happen in relationships. In fact, in a joint family relationships, complex mechanisms of projection and introjection take place.

As a general rule, victims of gaslighting are usually distrustful people who finally find someone seemingly trustworthy.

On the other hand, the manipulator is a person is insecure, but obsessed with exerting control over others. They pretend to be kind and say they’re only looking out for the other person’s well-being.


But this is just a facade. The victim comes to idealize this person. Thus, the perfect scenario for gaslighting is created. When this form of emotional manipulation is sustained for long periods of time, it has profoundly negative consequences for the victim.

The most worrisome of these consequences, without a doubt, is the victim’s submission to the “reality” imposed by the manipulator.

Gaslighting follows a pattern, classified into three stages. In the first stage, the victim presents argumentative resistance and rejects the affirmations of the manipulators. Meanwhile, the abusers try to convince the victim how they should think and feel.

In fact, in some cases they may argue for hours and hours. And then nothing concrete comes from these discussions, besides exhaustion.

In the second stage, the victim tries to keep an open mind so they can better understand the other’s point of view. However, since there is no reciprocity, the victim begins to doubt their beliefs and if not the manipulators try to reach other people unaware of the actual circumstances and aims of the manipulators. Because thees outsiders are easy to convince and become their victims too.


The third stage is based on confusion, where the victim’s frame of reference breaks down. They now believe that what their manipulator claims is true, normal and, therefore, real. 

There are some personality traits that predispose some individuals to become potential victims of gaslighting.


A lack of affection is one of them. The potential victim sees the manipulator as a savior and idealizes them because of this. This reaction is based on the fact that the victim interprets the manipulator’s actions as a true sign of affection. Even the arguments from the first stage make the victim feel like the manipulator is paying attention to them.

A person who needs to be right all the time has a higher chance of being a victim of this type of abuse. This situation happens when subjective things are discussed. The future victim’s arguments crumble as a result of wear and tear.

Finally, the need to be approved by others plays a decisive role. In this case, everything is served on a silver platter for the manipulator, who will not waste any time and immediately take advantage of this weakness.

To avoid falling into this type of toxic relationship, keep these things in mind. The first is that you must be alert to anything that makes you question your own beliefs and rattles your self-confidence.

Do not engage in pointless discussions. That includes exchanging subjective points of view which will lead you nowhere.


And finally, try to build up your worldview with solid arguments, to the point that they become convictions. Additionally, do not allow others to question your way of thinking or feeling. Don’t forget this is the ideal breeding ground for those who would try to manipulate you.

Miser society

This is Mehreen Syed , A fashion model and CEO/Chairperson International Fashion Academy Pakistan/ICARE.  And after she slipped on the ramp she posted this video and said,

  ''keeping that in mind, I want to share this moment when I slipped and how wonderful it was for me to see and feel the level of support, love and encouragement given to me by the audience. It was so touching and heartwarming for me. ''

We all slip, but not everyone of us gets this type of support and encouragements Mehreen Syed received after she slipped. That is may be because you have to be at the same level of achievements like her. But the challenge is to get up even when you don't get that kind of support that we don't usually receive even when we are struggling towards our goals.

Sometimes it is even worse. We get negative remarks, people make fun of us. Sometimes we are so discouraged that we quit and instead we start a fight and loose our energies to move on. Specially when we fall or slip its really hard to get back up and move on.

You might say, ' That's the Challenge' . Yes it is but for a moment can we look into that single positive example of what Mehreen shared. Can we really start caring? Can we stop being toxic? Can we just once stop being miser in encouragement, support and appreciation?

Can we stop looking for only those bad, negative and wrong things and turn towards the goodness the beauty still there around us?

One of our great scholars Ashfaq Ahmed Sahib said that when he was a student he learnt about the house fly eye that its each eye contains 4000 lenses that enable visualization of different pictures at the same time. He was so excited to learn that and he went to his old uncle, elder brother of his father, living in his native village. He knew that a simple illiterate guy like his uncle would be amazed to know about that fact. But when his uncle heard that fact about the house fly he said' shame on that creature with so many lenses in its eyes. Because it still finds only the dirty and filthy places to sit.

Why do we prefer being a house fly? Why don't we think about those wonderful honeybees who always prefer sitting on beautiful flowers and then making honey for us?

When will we start saying no to all these haters? Toxic and negative thoughts imposers that are payed to make us an in secure frustrated negative thinking society to become good customers?

Because when you are in secure, you are a good buyer. You are always afraid that the supplies would end in the market and you keep filling your houses with those supplies and you keep buying things. You are always afraid to take risks, face your fears and lead. You become slaves, workers not the creative leaders that build the society and prefer being their own bosses. Please just once think out the of box   and try to get some vision, not just the sight. 

Personality indicators

The most terrible impact today's media has on our youth, is making them trust nothing. This is what happens in their house as well, where media effected people keep telling them not to trust anyone. Stranger is danger. Its a mean world out there.

They are discouraged demoralized to have believe and  have confidence,  to take risk, and  they are pushed towards the safe zone where they don't dare to become leaders. Because leaders take risks, use courage, and they face their fears and help out others, to become leaders.

We have become a sheep nation. Following each other in a long queue towards becoming factory workers, slaves, needing a guaranteed  return of our labor every month and we want that fast. We are always looking for shortcuts to become a millionaire overnight. Children learn that from us, our youth is horrified insecure and frustrated form the contrast the see in their seniors in what they say and what their actions are.

It is never too difficult actually to know about the real personality, behind the mask of a person pretending to be someone he or she is not.. We just need to spend some time with him or her and those personality indicators tell us the real story. No one can hide the contrast in what he says and what he does for long. How long can someone pretend to be honest all the times? How long can someone pretend to be good, up right and a strong person all the time? When actually not. One, two or three days ? A week?

But one day that time will come when people are going to whiteness that you don't really believe in honesty, commitment, dedication, loyalty, truthfulness, when they see you in a contrast action of what you preach to them.

Sooner or later, they realize in their hearts mostly, that you are not what you talk about. Because more or less, they are the same. But you keep on pretending,  that you are what you exhibit to the world. You think you always outwit people around you? And actually, they just don't have the will, or courage to tell you the truth about you. And you think they don't know the real you. This is the most dangerous assumption.

But in your heart and in their hearts, they know you don't really believe in those morals and those soft skills you always talk about. You actually believe in policy, is the best honesty.

But no one knows, that its an in built personality trait that you are bound to rely, trust and believe to survive. You need to believe and have faith, in something or someone, without which you can't spend a single day of your life. You need to trust the bus driver every day,  to reach your office, school, or any other place, otherwise you wont make it. You have to trust the traffic lights, the government, and the police to do a lots of other things in life. Relying or trusting is inbuilt, you cant escape form being a relying, trusting believing soul.


But when it comes to faith you try to run away. Pretend or hide. Just because, it asks you to be answerable and responsible. Not even realizing that, you can not hide your personality indicators about what you actually believe in. You cant hide being a hypocrite for long. No matter what label of faith you are wearing, Muslim, Christian, Buddhist or Jew. Your real faith is always visible  in your personality indicators. Even being an atheist, you still have a faith.

And you know what the irony is? The creator says he is going to judge you on your own religion. Because religion(  دین   ) means the way of life in Arabic, nothing else. It  means no label that you wear or exhibit.

Things that you start believing, trusting and than gradually make your faith, makes it your religion and that is your way of life. Not the labels you are wearing.

W.E.B Dubois said, Children learn more from what you are, than what you teach them. I would say People know you more form what you are, than what you tell them about yourself.

We are always keen to teach our children. But we never realize that, leaning is a lot more difficult, than teaching and we make it even more difficult, with the contrast between our actions and teachings. We confuse them, frustrate them and stress them, with that contrast. Their ideals are distorted and finally destroyed, they have no one to trust to follow the real path, and they first thing or person they see, they run away. Because relying is in built, they need to rely on something and if it is wrong, or dangerous, they become a victim of that actual mean world you have been teaching them to stay away from. Charity becomes at home and spreading frustration, insecurity stress and mistrust also begins at home. It does not mean that of you were born earlier than others, its going to make you an elder and earns you respect and dignity. It demands ability to sustain pressures and keep younger ones away form those pressures. Teach them how to survive with those pressures, tragedies and mishaps by setting an example not just preaching them about it form a book or making them listen and watch lectures.

Children grades drop due to wrong learning, but why don't we cut  grades of those bad elders and  and those bad teachers, who keep  on grading our children on their bad and wrong teachings? Because there is no bad student only a bad teacher.

These bad seniors, elders and teachers create disbelieving, mistrusting scared insecure souls with their toxic negative behavior full of pessimism.. Finally, these poor young souls loose hope and either pick up a gun or they become suicidal.

And we just keep pretending we are worried and hold seminars, researches and media campaigns to find out reasons for those hostile or suicidal tendencies. But how serious we are about this issue? I am sure not that much serious. At least not as  much as we are  serious about the environmental and global warming issue, are we?

Time Banking

Timebanking is a kind of money. Give one hour of service to another, and receive one time credit.

For one person to earn a time credit, however, someone else has to agree to give it. Timebanking happens when a network or circle of members have agreed that they will give and receive credits for services that other members provide. Those networks are called “timebanks.”

That’s almost it.

To be successful, timebanks need leadership – or perhaps the better word is “governance.” They need agreements around what’s OK and what’s not OK in relation to earning and spending. To guide those, one additional and most important aspect of timebanking is the core values.

Edgar Cahn is the founder of modern timebanking. He noticed that successful timebanks almost always work with some specific core values in place. In his book No More Throw-Away People, he listed four values.  Later, he added a fifth. These have come to be widely shared as the five core values of timebanking – and most timebanks strive to follow them. They are a strong starting point for successful timebanking.

Asset Every one of us has something of value to share with someone else.

Redefining Work There are some forms of work that money will not easily pay for, like building strong families, revitalizing neighborhoods, making democracy work, advancing social justice. Time credits were designed to reward, recognize and honor that work.

Reciprocity Helping that works as a two-way street empowers everyone involved – the receiver as well as the giver. The question: “How can I help you?” needs to change so we ask: “Will you help someone too?”  Paying it forward ensures that, together, we help each other build the world we all will live in.

Social Networks Helping each other, we reweave communities of support, strength & trust. Community is built by sinking roots, building trust, creating networks. By using timebanking, we can strengthen and support these activities.

Respect Respect underlies freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and everything we value. Respect supplies the heart and soul of democracy. We strive to respect where people are in the moment, not where we hope they will be at some future point.

Timebanking was designed by Edgar Cahn to encourage the kinds of giving and receiving that will help to build and support families, neighborhoods and communities – what economist Neva Goodwin calls the “core economy.”

Edgar believed that Timebanking could also play a powerful role in achieving a more equal society. That’s because the “golden rule” of timebanking is this: All hours are equal, regardless of the nature of the act. An hour of baby-sitting earns one time credit. An hour of legal help earns one time credit.  An hour of kitchen clean-up earns one time credit.

Timebanks may use paper notes for their time credits.

Many timebanks use on-line timebanking software. The software makes it possible to keep track of who are the timebank members, what are the services they offer or seek, and what services they have actually given or received.

This time banking concept is being used in various western countries to cope with the crisis of elderly people being sent to old people homes as they become useless and burden for their families and government has to arrange and mange their expenses and needs.

In Switzerland, “Time Bank” was an old-age pension program developed by the Swiss Federal Ministry of Social Security. People get time credit for the the time to take care of the elderly when they were young, and waited until they were old, ill or needed care. Their service hours will be deposited into the personal accounts of the social security system.

It looks like a very nice idea to create a strong community that helps each other. But why do we need to work for our society with some kind of pay back or incentive? Why do we need be payed back for care, selflessness, dedication, loyalty, commitment and love? Can we earn back these values through a bank? I dont think so.

Why these values cant be delivered, without expecting a return?  Do we think about having a return of favor form our children while taking care of them them from the day one till the time they grow up enough to take care of themselves?  Do we bring a soul into this world for our own worldly gains and want our time and value given deposited or credited into a time bank for our future use?

If we expect our young ones to return that love care loyalty dedication commitment to us the same way we gave them, then I guess we deserve to be sent to old people homes.

Because if we are dumb enough to understand that these pure values  grow into to others  by themselves when we give them.  When you are loyal to your family, selfless to your family, dedicated to your community and neighbors and committed to the society there is no way you don't get it back from them. Not necessarily the exact same way but you always get it back . But there is only one condition, your intentions must be pure and selfless and you are ding that as a sacrifice.

You dont need a bank to take care of that for you to get those values back to you when you need them.

What do you think all those heroes were expecting form us ? Those great people like Mother Tressa, or Adbul Sattar Edhi would have wanted a time bank? Can we return those great services to them anyway?

When are we going to stop thinking like a banker or an economist? playing with greed and needs of people now playing with emotions and values as well.  Always up for a competition and a return. How a man can be so sure that he is going to live that long to invest time effort and values into a bank expecting a return in his old age?

13 awesome characteristics of highly sensitive people.

This is one of my most praised and liked articles on LinkedIn that I would like to share again here. Because I have always loved it.

Do you feel like you process situations more intensely than the average person?

According to the late Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961), a highly sensitive person (HSP) is a person having the innate trait of high sensitivity. The term ‘highly sensitive person’ was coined by Elaine N. Aron PhD in 1996. And, according to Aron, these individuals represent about a fifth of the population — to which, she concludes, such people process sensory data much more deeply and thoroughly due to  biological difference in their nervous systems. (Much more to be explored in her book The Highly Sensitive Person: How To Thrive When The World Overwhelms You.) 

Throughout my life, I’ve often found myself feeling confused, even guilty for feeling too intently, too intimately, too sensitively. Because of my over-feeling attributes, I’ve often resorted to behaviors that diluted my innate, sensitive superpower…I’d cowar, become shy, inhibited and/or extremely introverted — and I’d feel bad about who I was. I didn’t understand how to use this characteristic of my being so instead I’d also stress out for feeling overwhelmed by stuff that seemed easily manageable by other people…why couldn’t I just be more easy going?!

What was wrong with me? Well, nothing.

I’ve also always been hyper sensitive to vibrational energy, speed, heights, sounds, mass units of anything, smells and touch. I can’t count how many times going to concerts, workshops, gatherings, etc, has made me feel…insane. I’d still participate, but the vibrational energy would make me feel overly caffeinated, wired — and mostly freaked out, although I wasn’t afraid. Instead of trying to relax and embrace my emotional and physical states in these environments, I’d often just sit contorted in constriction and not relax until I was home.

For these reasons, I’ve always considered myself a shy extrovert. I’ve always found it easy to connect with people, but often when the connection would open to allow our experience to go deeper, it would feel like a blast to my core. I’d feel it in every molecule of myself and I’d typically withdraw so as to not make the other person or persons feel uncomfortable. This would often trigger a blush or a disconnect of eye contact. Many have told me that they found this behavior endearing, but not me. I thought I’d blush because I was insecure or weird even though I didn’t feel insecure (or necessarily weird — in negative way).

I realized much later that I just felt most things very intimately.

And violence is a no-go for me. I simply cannot unnecessarily expose myself to it in any of its forms — movies, television, newspapers, factory farms, war — you name it. When I am visualizing or listening to it, I can feel it penetrating every aspect of my being — and it has never, ever felt right or healthy.


It wasn’t until recent years that have I stopped negatively questioning my power, my presence and my energy for being so sensitive, and in that process I have discovered some of the awesomeness of being a highly sensitive person. I am still in this discovery process.

Here is a list of some of the awesomeness I have found thus far:

1. Intuitive — highly sensitive people tend to be aware of what is happening below the surface, in between the lines and without an articulated reasoning.

2. An ability to read the vibe — when entering a room, a conversation, a situation or when coming into contact with another person or group of people. Perhaps you can feel what type of mood or conversation was taking place just before you arrived, even if the people who were there are no longer present.

3. Picking up on the subtle — perhaps you’re able to respond to someone’s needs or questions before they even ask. Perhaps you can even tell when someone is lying to you o hiding something.

4. Empathy for what others are feeling — and this goes beyond just the cordial sentiments, but getting as close to being able to walk a mile in a person’s shoes without ever putting their boots on.

5. Experiencing the extraordinary — perhaps you’re able to experience, feel and see what is beyond the ordinary…a sound, a sense, a color not yet coined — dare I say magic?

6. Mental telepathy — this one is interesting and I’m still working this out, but it seems that highly sensitive people may have the ability to sense when someone is going to call them, send them a text message, stop over for a visit, or can even pick up on personal messages offered from others while engaging in other conversations.

7. Storytelling — because of your highly sensitive nature, perhaps you are able to elegantly and graciously use descriptive words to narrate and create the most divine of stories — played, written, painted or through movement.

8. Going solo with confidence — you’re able to be alone without feeling lonely. Sometimes your own company is all you need and want and that’s okay and sometimes even preferred.

9. Above average mindfulness — you’re able to move to the other side of the sidewalk so someone can pass. You’re more than willing to make room for a group of people coming onto the bus or you find yourself making eye contact with a by-passer…all in the name of making it easier for everyone — them and you. Often this trait is default and isn’t something you need to ‘activate’.

10. Easy to cry — showing our emotions in the form of crying can come easier for us sensitive souls, but it’s also a healthy release of constrictive emotions and thought-patterns — a cleansing of our windows to the soul and our lenses out into the world.

11. Work excellent in a team setting — due to our ability to pick-up on how people are feeling, we’re able to respond to the team’s needs to help them work in the most optimal way.

12. Hard working — you tend to be a deep thinker and perhaps a little bit of a perfectionist. Highly sensitive people tend to put everything and a little more into tasks at hands especially projects that others will witness and be involved in.

 13. Easily moved by artistic expression — and if there’s anything that keeps the world’s artists inspired and creativity in full rebellion is having those who are moved by it — and show it.

Recognizing myself as a highly sensitive person as helped me to see it in others. These others, by and large, have been the most profound teachers, artists, healers, dreamers and souls I have ever come across.

[VIA TANYA LEE MARKUL]

When was that last time?

Brain scientist Lara Boyd once said that human brain changes its shapes each time we learn something and learning ability is different, in fact unique, in every human being. This is why some of you might  be good at solving mathematical problem but some are good at sports. This unique ability can not be obtained with a medicine, practice or enforcing or guidance and coaching.

There is no way you can change your learning tendencies, so does your child. You must understand and find out what you are good at learning, that mainly depends on genetics but not 100%. After you find out, help your child to learn what he is good at.

One of another interesting thought patterns that make your life much easier and happier is to understand that 'Stress is bad for you, but only if you believe it is'. A health psychologist wrote a book on this topic in which she describes how our thoughts patterns directly effect our body. She once gave it a test with a friend's 12 year son who became a victim of bullies at school. She asked him  to sway and spin around fast, climb up and down the stairs. Then she asked him about his feelings and he said it feels funny. My heart is pounding and I feel all thrilled and excited and dizzy. She said to him 'well you feel happy and you think its funny doing that. But what if it happens in the school when some bullies run after you? teasing and taunting?. The feeling is entirely the opposite of that. It all depends the way we think and believe.

These are all our thought patterns. The way we take things is the main reason of stress. Brain scientist say that, there are 70,000 thoughts everyday in our  mind and only 5% of them are new. Think of Common placebos, that are inert tablets (like sugar pills), that work incredibly good for patients instead of a prescribed medicine and they actually remove their disease too. Just because they believe it works. That's only their positive thought that makes their disease go away with a placebo. But sometimes a disease wont go away with a real medicine and treatment. This is just because of the negative thoughts.

Think of this power of our thoughts over us. Think of those 70, 000 thoughts, 95% of them keep repeating themselves and how many of them are negative that tell you over and over again that that's good for them but not for me? They can do that but I am not capable or free enough to do that. Our thoughts make us judge things and people in split second. When we watch, listen or even read about them and these thoughts make our decisions and results.

Have you ever realized what you are thinking about right now? Do you check your thoughts ? Are they negative or positive? Most of our negative thoughts are taken as realistic or straight forward thoughts and we make them as good and positive but that's absolutely wrong.

Everyone has experienced something really bad in life. There are times that make you feel scarred, helpless and really angry and if you keep your focus entirely on your fears and despair you can never get out of that situation. Nelson Mandela was asked how he survived in jail for 27 years and his answer was' I didn't survive, I prepared'. We only need to get hold on our negative thoughts of fear despair and anger and change our focus towards positive thoughts that give us energy to fight back and succeed. They words you focus upon really matter. If we focus on the word survive you wont survive actually for 27 years. But  if you focus on the word prepare that makes you calm and content.

Another good way to take hold of the situation that makes your nerves tense your heart pounding, and you are about to lose control, is to change your physiology at that moment. Breath deeper, move your arms or sit up and try to divert your thoughts by switching on TV or radio or music and stop those negative thoughts to invade your mind and control you. You are in control of yourself nothing else.

You need to focus on good thoughts and for that you need to understand new ways to build your ability. Focus on what you can learn and reach out for those who learned and specialized those abilities. Learn from them and stop letting 95% of your thoughts coming back to you, replace them with new ones. When was the last time, when you did something for the first time?

Big Mistake

Like Morihei Ueshiba once said, ''Loyalty and devotion lead to bravery. Bravery leads to the spirit of self-sacrifice. The spirit of self-sacrifice creates trust. When people show loyalty to you, you take care of those who are with you. It's how it goes with everything.''

Sadly, loyal people are often treated worse because they are loyal and thus would not go anywhere. Big mistake. Just because someone is loyal does not mean they can't reach a point of no return. Loyal people quit before they resign, when they had enough. Never push loyal people to the point where they don't care. Think twice about losing them because your own future depends on them.

When leaders throughout an organization take an active, genuine interest in the people they manage, when they invest real time to understand employees at a fundamental level, they create a climate for greater morale, loyalty, and, yes, growth.

Loyal people have their own high standards for what they want in a partner and how they want to be treated. They bring a lot to the table. Not talking about material things but what what they have to offer as a person - love and loyalty and all the things that make a good relationship.

A few tips for Happiness

Everyone knows that humans are social animals and its very human to interact with other humans. But do we understand the value of these interaction in our daily lives?

We usually talk and interact mostly with a very small number of humans that we know well and hesitate to interact with strangers as we know ' Stranger is Danger'

But happiness is when you say 'hi' to the people you see in your street when you go out. Saying good morning to people standing close to you waiting for the cab, train or bus when going to work daily with a smile on your face get many smiles back to you.

Asking the bus driver that you see daily on your way back to work or asking the cab driver how is he will also make you feel happy when he smiles and tells you about it.

I don't mean to get close to every stranger you see, there may be some very strange people out there too, but I do prefer talking to the shopkeeper that I meet almost daily to buy snacks or daily life things and asking him how is he and how is his family doing.

Saying hello and have a nice day to the people you see in an elevator of your building or escalator you use daily would also make a difference.

Did you ever try leaving a box of sweets for the cleaning guy with a thank you note?

I heard in Egypt they make amazing graffiti, a piece of art, or nice saying or a quote makes it looks nice for people instead of leaving an advertisement or bad news on the wall. I also heard that in  middle east somewhere people put a refrigerator outside their house with meals and drinks inside so that anyone in need of something to eat or drink in a warm day can get get things out of that refrigerator.

Nice and kinds words and deeds cost nothing and buy everything.