Translate

Thursday, 22 March 2018

13 awesome characteristics of highly sensitive people.

This is one of my most praised and liked articles on LinkedIn that I would like to share again here. Because I have always loved it.

Do you feel like you process situations more intensely than the average person?

According to the late Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961), a highly sensitive person (HSP) is a person having the innate trait of high sensitivity. The term ‘highly sensitive person’ was coined by Elaine N. Aron PhD in 1996. And, according to Aron, these individuals represent about a fifth of the population — to which, she concludes, such people process sensory data much more deeply and thoroughly due to  biological difference in their nervous systems. (Much more to be explored in her book The Highly Sensitive Person: How To Thrive When The World Overwhelms You.) 
Throughout my life, I’ve often found myself feeling confused, even guilty for feeling too intently, too intimately, too sensitively. Because of my over-feeling attributes, I’ve often resorted to behaviors that diluted my innate, sensitive superpower…I’d cowar, become shy, inhibited and/or extremely introverted — and I’d feel bad about who I was. I didn’t understand how to use this characteristic of my being so instead I’d also stress out for feeling overwhelmed by stuff that seemed easily manageable by other people…why couldn’t I just be more easy going?!

What was wrong with me? Well, nothing.

I’ve also always been hyper sensitive to vibrational energy, speed, heights, sounds, mass units of anything, smells and touch. I can’t count how many times going to concerts, workshops, gatherings, etc, has made me feel…insane. I’d still participate, but the vibrational energy would make me feel overly caffeinated, wired — and mostly freaked out, although I wasn’t afraid. Instead of trying to relax and embrace my emotional and physical states in these environments, I’d often just sit contorted in constriction and not relax until I was home.

For these reasons, I’ve always considered myself a shy extrovert. I’ve always found it easy to connect with people, but often when the connection would open to allow our experience to go deeper, it would feel like a blast to my core. I’d feel it in every molecule of myself and I’d typically withdraw so as to not make the other person or persons feel uncomfortable. This would often trigger a blush or a disconnect of eye contact. Many have told me that they found this behavior endearing, but not me. I thought I’d blush because I was insecure or weird even though I didn’t feel insecure (or necessarily weird — in negative way).

I realized much later that I just felt most things very intimately.

And violence is a no-go for me. I simply cannot unnecessarily expose myself to it in any of its forms — movies, television, newspapers, factory farms, war — you name it. When I am visualizing or listening to it, I can feel it penetrating every aspect of my being — and it has never, ever felt right or healthy.


It wasn’t until recent years that have I stopped negatively questioning my power, my presence and my energy for being so sensitive, and in that process I have discovered some of the awesomeness of being a highly sensitive person. I am still in this discovery process.


Here is a list of some of the awesomeness I have found thus far:


1. Intuitive — highly sensitive people tend to be aware of what is happening below the surface, in between the lines and without an articulated reasoning.

2. An ability to read the vibe — when entering a room, a conversation, a situation or when coming into contact with another person or group of people. Perhaps you can feel what type of mood or conversation was taking place just before you arrived, even if the people who were there are no longer present.

3. Picking up on the subtle — perhaps you’re able to respond to someone’s needs or questions before they even ask. Perhaps you can even tell when someone is lying to you o hiding something.

4. Empathy for what others are feeling — and this goes beyond just the cordial sentiments, but getting as close to being able to walk a mile in a person’s shoes without ever putting their boots on.

5. Experiencing the extraordinary — perhaps you’re able to experience, feel and see what is beyond the ordinary…a sound, a sense, a color not yet coined — dare I say magic?

6. Mental telepathy — this one is interesting and I’m still working this out, but it seems that highly sensitive people may have the ability to sense when someone is going to call them, send them a text message, stop over for a visit, or can even pick up on personal messages offered from others while engaging in other conversations.

7. Storytelling — because of your highly sensitive nature, perhaps you are able to elegantly and graciously use descriptive words to narrate and create the most divine of stories — played, written, painted or through movement.

8. Going solo with confidence — you’re able to be alone without feeling lonely. Sometimes your own company is all you need and want and that’s okay and sometimes even preferred.

9. Above average mindfulness — you’re able to move to the other side of the sidewalk so someone can pass. You’re more than willing to make room for a group of people coming onto the bus or you find yourself making eye contact with a by-passer…all in the name of making it easier for everyone — them and you. Often this trait is default and isn’t something you need to ‘activate’.

10. Easy to cry — showing our emotions in the form of crying can come easier for us sensitive souls, but it’s also a healthy release of constrictive emotions and thought-patterns — a cleansing of our windows to the soul and our lenses out into the world.

11. Work excellent in a team setting — due to our ability to pick-up on how people are feeling, we’re able to respond to the team’s needs to help them work in the most optimal way.

12. Hard working — you tend to be a deep thinker and perhaps a little bit of a perfectionist. Highly sensitive people tend to put everything and a little more into tasks at hands especially projects that others will witness and be involved in.

 13. Easily moved by artistic expression — and if there’s anything that keeps the world’s artists inspired and creativity in full rebellion is having those who are moved by it — and show it.

Recognizing myself as a highly sensitive person as helped me to see it in others. These others, by and large, have been the most profound teachers, artists, healers, dreamers and souls I have ever come across.
[VIA TANYA LEE MARKUL]

Tuesday, 13 March 2018

When was that last time?

Brain scientist Lara Boyd once remarked that the human brain changes its shape each time we learn something, and our learning abilities are unique to each individual. This uniqueness explains why some people excel at solving mathematical problems while others are great at sports. This unique learning ability cannot be acquired through medicine, practice, or even guidance and coaching.

You cannot fundamentally change your learning tendencies, and neither can your child. It’s essential to understand and identify what you or your child are naturally good at, which is primarily influenced by genetics but not entirely. Once you discover these strengths, you can help your child focus on learning in ways that align with their natural abilities.

Another interesting concept that can make life easier and happier is the understanding that "stress is bad for you, but only if you believe it is." Health psychologist Kelly McGonigal wrote a book on this topic, explaining how our thought patterns directly affect our bodies. In an experiment with a friend's 12-year-old son, who was being bullied at school, she asked him to spin around quickly and climb up and down stairs. When asked how he felt, he said it was funny, his heart was pounding, and he felt thrilled and excited. She then asked him to consider how he would feel if the same physical reactions occurred when bullies were chasing and taunting him at school. The feelings would be entirely different. This illustrates how our perceptions and beliefs shape our experiences.


Our thought patterns significantly influence our experience of stress. Brain scientists estimate that we have about 70,000 thoughts each day, but only 5% of them are new. This means that most of our thoughts are repetitive, and if many of them are negative, they can have a profound impact on our well-being.

Consider the power of placebos—those inert tablets like sugar pills that often work wonders for patients, even alleviating disease symptoms, simply because the patients believe they will. This is a testament to the power of positive thinking. Conversely, negative thoughts can prevent real medicine and treatment from being effective.

Think about the influence our thoughts have over us. With 70,000 thoughts each day and 95% of them being repetitive, how many of these are negative? These negative thoughts often tell us, "That's good for them but not for me," or "They can do that, but I can't." Our thoughts lead us to judge things and people in split seconds, shaping our decisions and outcomes.

Have you ever stopped to consider what you’re thinking about right now? Do you check whether your thoughts are negative or positive? Often, we mistake our negative thoughts for realistic or straightforward ones, thinking they are grounded in reality, but this is not the case.

To improve our lives, we need to be mindful of our thoughts. Recognizing and challenging our negative thought patterns is crucial. By fostering more positive thinking, we can significantly enhance our overall well-being and ability to navigate life's challenges.

Everyone has experienced challenging times in life—moments that leave you feeling scarred, helpless, and angry. If you focus solely on your fears and despair, you'll find it difficult to move forward. When Nelson Mandela was asked how he survived 27 years in jail, he famously replied, "I didn’t survive; I prepared." This powerful mindset shift from mere survival to active preparation made all the difference for him.

To overcome negative thoughts of fear, despair, and anger, it's crucial to redirect your focus towards positive thoughts that provide the energy to fight back and succeed. The words you focus on truly matter. If you fixate on the word "survive," it can feel like a never-ending struggle. However, if you focus on the word "prepare," it brings a sense of calm and readiness.

Another effective strategy to regain control in stressful situations is to change your physiology. When your nerves are tense, your heart is pounding, and you feel on the brink of losing control, try this: take deeper breaths, move your arms, sit up straight, or divert your thoughts by switching on the TV, radio, or some music. This can help stop negative thoughts from invading your mind and taking control. Remember, you are in control of yourself, not your circumstances.

Focusing on positive thoughts is key, and to do so, you need to explore new ways to enhance your abilities. Concentrate on what you can learn and seek guidance from those who have mastered the skills you aspire to develop. Stop allowing 95% of your thoughts to be repetitive; replace them with new, constructive ones.

Ask yourself: When was the last time you did something for the first time? Embrace new experiences and keep your mind engaged with fresh, positive thoughts.