To win a heart, you must surrender your heart first

I would reasonably prefer to surrender and feel like a winner, then cheat and feel like a looser.  Winning can never be your practice unless defeats have torn you apart and you have the experience of stitching back yourself one piece at a time and you  laugh in the faces of all defeats.

No one can ever think of winning and owning someone's heart unless he has a bigger heart to surrender his will, emotion desires, needs and egos for that person.

Giving up, surrendering and facing defeat seems to be very painful and difficult in a world that prefers competition, race and getting ahead faster and ruthless. We are trapped in deadly misconception of wining without losing our ego.

It is hard to understand delicacies like sacrifice, humility, compassion, sensitivity, creativity and respect towards the importance of our social values. We would rather go for a sacrificing money and our assets maybe some of our time to win other persons loyalty devotion commitment sensitivity, and his creativity thinking that we have made a great effort and a sacrifice feeling proud like a boss. 

Never feeling anything about what we have achieved or won in return. Winning like that never brings us the real essence of life, ate least not permanently because once that person is able to have a bigger more attractive offer he leaves. Because there is no emotional bonding no human values and relationship that lasts forever and we still blame him for quitting and giving up on us.  

Buying someone’s love, loyalty devotion and commitment   with money and material incentives like providing clothing, shelter and food even benefits like washing and cleaning or free cooking does not bring us compassion sensitivity care and humility forever it requires more than that to form an emotional bond. It needs us to surrender our heart our will and prove our loyalty devotion humility care and commitment.

You can always hire a maid to a lots of things for you and always get fresh food, cleaning and washing and if you can’t afford that you can always charm someone else into it but you can never win a heart and keep a loyal companion with you in all those hard and dangers times no matter what.

Again in a world of speed and shortcut we do not believe in reliable long lasting relationships actually we need everything fast and disposable. We would only concentrate on our financial strength to win and buy even a souse loyalty dedication care even love. We are not even interested in having a permanent father brother sister or even a mother on our side. Then why would prefer an employee with permanent long lasting relationship. 

But the thing is that we always complain for the mistrust, uncertainty and lack of loyalty and always want others to be perfect in every way for us. Always ready to help, caring and devoted and when they are not we never understand the real reason behind that.
Whatever we do, whatever relationship we need to have no matter what purpose we have in our lives if you don’t do it with all our heart with complete submission of our all our emotions and feelings we never get the desired results.

Half-hearted efforts have half the results. Incomplete unsatisfying achievements become the root cause of our frustrations and we still don’t believe why after all those spending and services rendered without putting a heart into them have no good results.

The secret behind all that is not in becoming someone, its actually being someone. All our lives we actually pretend to become someone. We do not like to be an actual father, mother even a brother, sister or even a souse. This goes the same way when we struggle to become a professional. We become a doctor scientist or an engineer but actually we never try to be one. 

Those who actually are the doctors scientist engineer or any other specialist or professional, become those few names that we can count on our fingertips and the world knows them. Realizing that we are not what we are trying to prove we don’t even repent. We keep on insisting that what’s wrong is actually right. We try to mould and twist facts in our favour and do our best to prove that what we are is actually what a true father, mother, and bother sister even a spouse should be like.  We not even pretend we perform a role an act in front of people. But when we are in private or alone or unaware that we are being noticed, the actual self-image leaks out revealing our ugly self-cause we can never hide those personality indicators. We underestimate others and think we are the clever one only and we can always fool everyone around.

The only answer to all these miseries agonies and troubles is in those simple ways of being yourself, try to be yourself only, not anyone else, be comfortable with yourself and let the outside world shape a different you,  a better you, sooner or later a better you will emerge. Not letting it happen won’t work it will keep on shaping you anyway, the harder you cling to what you are not, the harder deformation will 

To be great is to be misunderstood

''To be great is to be misunderstood''

― Ralph Waldo Emerson,  says in Self-Reliance, one of his greatest essays

Sometimes people living too close to you are unable to see your talents and greatness. This is like being too close to a great sculpture makes you unable to see every detail of that masterpiece. Great people are mostly recognised by the people at a distance, able to see those great things in detail. Many of the great men in the world have experienced that. There are a very few of them being understood and recognised by their life partners and family members before the outside world recognized and accepted them. It takes a talent too bright to be ignored or missed by the people nearby.

The individual, Emerson says, must be self-reliant and self-sufficient: "To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men,–that is genius . . . imitation is suicide . . . Accept the place the divine providence has found for you.

 . . ." A true man is a self-trusting nonconformist, for "Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind." Emerson rejects traditional morality: "the only right is what is after my constitution; the only wrong what is against it . . . I shun father and mother and wife and brother when my genius calls me . . . 

The great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude." Conformity makes us false, but "For non-conformity the world whips you with its displeasure.

" The other enemy of self-trust "is our own consistency; a reverence for our past act or word. . . ." Self-contradiction is unimportant, for we must "bring the past for judgment into the thousand-eyed present, and live ever in a new day." The great man must realize that people will resent his preference of truth over consistency:

. . . Speak what you think now in hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict everything you said today.–"Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood."–Is it so bad then to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernious, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.

Making someone feel good

Have you ever been able to make someone feel good? Just because you want a smile a sense of tranquillity and serenity on their faces. Giving them hope, enthusiasm and trust, instead of making him feel bad, week, incapable or incompetent? Just for the sake of getting ahead in the race, winning and gaining you push someone aside or behind with those invisible, subliminal disguised indirect attacks and you still think world will never know?

Did you ever have the pleasure of making someone feel good about life for nothing in return, just for the sake of goodness, prayers and blessings? I don’t mean for the time being only I mean it as a continuous process making it your habit your nature as an optimist.

This is what the world is missing. This is what’s rapidly disappearing from humanity.  For a while, If we just put aside that meanness, materialism, brutality and injustice aside. The inhuman behaviour and that cold attitude just for sake of looking cool, is what is spread all over the society.

We don’t even care even if we notice someone feels bad, someone feels emotionally torn, unable to do something for himself, for his family or nation, just because he feels insecure and emotionally unstable and fallen sick.

We don’t care about the likes of a person and keep on imposing and forcing our own likes even if we have to twist and mould them to look like something else.

But the worst thing we do not care about and we even reject, is what actually someone dislikes. We look down at them as creatures who don’t have a heart that cannot stand someone cheating, playing dirty tricks, and making a fool out of them by self-assumingly thinking to be more clever and smarter. We bully them always looking for something that we can object upon. Finding faults all the time instead of finding great things, habits and abilities and encouraging, praising and helping them to realize what so special about them, in them.

Making someone feel good is caring with feeling of compassion. Believing in mankind and goodness. Having the empathetic view about this world, being expectant about positivity that always wins.  Having firm faith in The Creator and His creations that were created for godnees and a greater brighter cause. 

This is so sensitively important and delicate to realize how positive, promising hopeful words and attitude towards people, starting from your critical relation, is the most essential requirement that even the plants and the trees get seriously ill with that bitter and attitude and atmosphere.

Accordingto some reports in the Solomon Islands of the pacific the islanders practice aspecial form of curse magic. If a tree needs to be cut down and it is too bigto be chopped down, it is brought down by the combined efforts of the Islanders cursing negatively and yelling at the tree. This negative energy somehow damages the tree’s life energy the result being after about 30 days of getting cursed the tree dies off and falls to the ground!